Contrary to what a lot of movies try to teach you, getting a boyfriend isn’t a magical moment where you bump into each other and stare into each others’ eyes for what seems to be an eternity. Neither is it you falling in love with the jerk turned “secretly-deep-guy”. Finding a man is an active effort and you have to put in the work so that you can see the results. Here’s how to get a boyfriend in five easy steps.
1. Get social – Come back here, you! What did you think? That he was going to fall out of a tree? You have to put yourself out there so that people know that you exist. Staying indoors and fantasizing will not cut it. You can do this in one of two ways: the old-fashioned way of going to parties, meet and greets, concerts etcetera OR you can build yourself a dating profile. Okay. Several dating profiles. If you are a bit shier than the rest of us, at the very least get yourself a Tinder account. This can help you to get super comfortable with the person before you decide to meet so that it is not awkward. You can use Facebook, Twitter and even Instagram as well to do this but I would err on the side of caution with these social sites. If you are going to meet someone that you met on the Internet for the first time please take a friend with you. Losing your life just so that you get a boyfriend is absolutely not worth it. For the more adventurous ones, you’ll be doing the same thing except there are lots of people in the room. Talk to as many strangers as you can whenever you go out but remember to enjoy the experience as well.
2. Glow up – Ladies, ladies, ladies. Sweatpants are not at all sexy. I am sorry. Yes, they are comfortable. Yes, they smell like home. But, no. They will not get you a boyfriend. See, men are attracted primarily by what they see before anything else. So even if you have a personality that is a ten, if you come out in those sweatpants looking like a four, you might as well change your name to Eleanor Abernathy. Make a conscious effort to look good no matter where you go because Mister Right could be just around the corner. Wear clothes that are not only in style but that fit you well too. They shouldn’t be so baggy that you look like a, well, a bag, and they shouldn’t be so tight that they awaken his sex drive before his interest bulb. You don’t always have to look like a runway model but at the very least wash your face, comb your hair and put on some lip gloss.
3. Be feminine – Some of you may not want to hear this but this point may literally save you from being just another chick he dated. Guys love feeling exactly like that – guys! Let me rephrase that- A MAN WORTH DATING loves feeling like a man around his woman. They may never tell you but that is his secret obsession and when girls behave in a masculine manner, it almost feels like he has to compete with her for the position of protector in the relationship. In his mind when he is with a girl like that, he often asks himself why he is there when you’ve already got a man – YOU! No one is saying to wear pink things and turn yourself into Martha Stewart. But things like letting him pay for the date (all of them no matter what as long as he is with you), smiling, being ladylike, letting. him. chase. you., not yelling or being argumentative (not standing up for yourself. Just arguing to be right but not to come to a reasonable conclusion) are all things that make you a bit more feminine. Now, this is if you want a man worth dating. You don’t have to do this unless you want a great guy. If that is not you, then do you. But if you want to be great, try to be a bit more feminine.
4. Let Him Chase You – This is another tip for those of you who want to be great. If you want good, that is fine but we want relationships that last and are good. Give the man a chance to want you. The male species get obsessed with things that they cannot have right away. When first getting to know him, let him call you at least eighty percent of the time and when he does call make every effort to be as charming and fun as possible. Give him space to miss you and think about you. If he doesn’t call or he doesn’t pay attention, sweetie, you have an emotional dud. Throw that sardine back in the bay and move on to the next one.
5. Talk to multiple people – At the end of the day, there is no commitment in the dating phase. Therefore, you are single until he stops messing around and claims you. You are single as a Pringle until he makes that move. Don’t force him to do it either because if he won’t, as beautiful as you are, another man will. Talk to every man with that confidence. If he asks if you’re seeing anyone else, you tell him that you are talking to several people but that he has the opportunity to be the only one if he plays his cards right. For those of you who feel guilty about it, that is how men date. They don’t consider any relationship sacred or see it holding any weight outside of marriage. That is why so many girls get dropped like hot rocks one day and two weeks later, the dude is marrying someone else. Play the game and stop letting these dudes play you.
Following these steps may very well land you a relationship and eventually a ring. The most important thing is to have fun with this. Even if you don’t get a man right away, any experience that you have during this process is going to teach you something about yourself that you can talk about when you do eventually meet the right guy. And you will because you deserve to be loved. Remember that.